Life Couldn't Be More Scarier..

Napa arini i tgk u takde update blog pon? Surprice2 i never expect that my hubby would ask me something like that. But then again, he missed it. I update my blog almost every single time i'm online and feel like to update. Abang sayang, u yg tak check ur email. Penat2 la i buat notification direct to ur mail. ;p...
 
But then again, that was not why i am writting. The fact that my slide presentation for SMOKU is not done yet. But still i need to write this.
 
5 years or 6 years back, as i was a final year graphic student, hating myself for having to do BMRT renderring and trying my heart out to understand the algorithm. On man, it was fucking hard and i was fucking depressed and let down by it. Lucky I gone through it and trying so hard to leave it ASAP! I even got an offer to rightaway further my studies and gonna get paid for it! But i dropped the offer. I donno why i'm being so dump. I just tear up the offer letter. Later i found out that the form can be downloaded but i was too late. The offer has been given to someone else i guess. I never know, who BMRT is so big that i received the offer. Well this is not the time to say what i should and what i shouldn't. It's my destiny anyway...
 
But having to accidently met my ex-lec or ex-supervisor on the net. Still proud talking about BMRT. Still pasionate about SHADERING. I feel lonely and left out! My colleague and ex-lover ( BUTET the husband of my colleague dh pn. Hehehe) [takdelah aku joking je, aku tau we never get hitched pn. Muahahaha] is now out and about in UK furthering their studies in PHD. I know i was even better than them. I'm just plain stupid and lazy and too soon to be let down when i couldn't understand a word what those graphics lecturer is saying. Oh man. RUGINYAAAA. Suddently, i feel like i want to be like them. I want to be in UK too! Tapi bila memikirkan selsema BABI. I think i should feel this bad anyway. Oh shadap!
 
Tak tau la, aku ase mcm. Eihh rindunya zaman2 jadi BUDAK GRAFIK dlu. Leisurenya kehidupan. Noel pn dh kawin, dh ada anak. En Azam pn dh ada 4 ORANG ANAK! Wow! Despite org kata BINI DIA MUKA CENGIR. Muahahahahahahaa. Mimah n Butet pn dh ada sorg anak. Suma pn dh beranak pinak. LYNN pn dh kt UK jgk dia lain, dia PTD. Aku jgk still kt sini. Fighting myself to like wht i'm curently doing. Trying so hard to fit in. Yela aku dh gemuk. Suma tmpt pn ase SESAK NAPAS and SEMPIT. huhuhuhu..
 
Apalah aku merepek nih.
 
Tapi berbalik kepada tajuk. En Azam nih, masa raya tahun 2008 anak die no3 br umo 10bulan. Then bulan 12 bini dia deliver anak no4 dia. Anak eksiden la tu. Br lepas pantang tros lekat nmpk. Muahahahahahaha.... I know, despite all the rumours, HE LOVES HIS WIFE! Hope that my hubby pn mcm dia jgk. Wpn die kdg2 buat mcm DEKKK je ngn bini dia ni. Please love me dear. ;p....
 
Ok tu je nk merepek. Hehehehehehe.....................

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Regards,
Siti Fatimah Khairiah M Amin

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