January 29, 2005

Hanya ada 3 hari dalam hidup

Yang pertama:

Hari kemarin. (PAST)Anda tak bisa mengubah apa pun yang telah terjadi.Anda tak bisa menarik perkataan yang telah terucapkan.Anda tak mungkin lagi menghapus kesalahan dan mengulangi kegembiraan yang anda rasakan kemarin.Biarkan hari kemarin lewat, lepaskan saja...

Yang kedua:

Hari esok. (FUTURE)Hingga mentari esok hari terbit,Anda tak tahu apa yang akan terjadi.Anda tak bisa melakukan apa-apa esok har.Anda tak mungkin sedih atau ceria di esok hari.Esok hari belum tiba; biarkan saja...

Yang tersisa kini hanyalah:

Hari ini. (PRESENT)Pintu masa lalu telah tertutup.Pintu masa depan pun belum tiba.Pusatkan saja diri anda untuk hari ini.Anda dapat mengerjakan lebih banyak hal hari ini bila anda mampu memaafkan hari kemarin dan melepaskan ketakutan akan esok hari.Hiduplah hari ini. Karena, masa lalu dan masa depan hanyalah permainan pikiran yang rumit.Hiduplah apa adanya. Karena yang ada hanyalah hari ini; hari ini yang abadi.Perlakukan setiap orang dengan kebaikan hati dan rasa hormat, meski mereka berlaku buruk pada anda.


Cintailah seseorang sepenuh hati hari ini,karena mungkin besok cerita sudah berganti.Ingatlah bahwa anda menunjukkan penghargaan pada orang lain bukan karena siapa mereka, tetapi karena siapakah diri anda sendiri. Jadi, jangan biarkan masa lalu mengekangmu atau masa depan membuatmu bingung, lakukan yang terbaik HARI INI dan lakukan SEKARANG juga!!!!!!

The day will come when you will review your life and be thankful for every minute of it.Every hurt, every sorrow, every joy, every celebration, every moment of your life will be a treasure This is why today is called a PRESENT...

January 15, 2005

To Be Or Not To Be

Not being anything..................aku takde mood and takde idea nk tulis ape2....huhuhuhuh...

sori ye kengkwn...hik hik hik.....................

January 07, 2005

When YOU over see YOU....

Dh lame giler aku tak update blog ni...Slalu ade 8 jam sehari aku lepak sini...Skang ni dh tinggal 2 jam je......tu pon kadang2 nk bace email pon ngantok2...Penat jugak kene aku skang ni....Bukan penat ape..Penat mendengar KULIAH SUBUH trainer aku....dan jugak penat menunggu bas, jln kaki,naik lrt..Sesak giler seyy....Tp for the sake kalu bwk kete kene parking jauh...Tu pon tak economi gk...hik hik hik......Takpelaa..Aku lebih rela naik lrt.....Pastu penat seyy....Perah otak nk speaking BI....Aku malu laa...asek salah sebut perkataan je...Aku tau perkataan yg btol...Kadang2 lepas ckp aku tau aku salah.....Tp aku akan sebut jugak yg salah...Malu giler seyy...Colleague2 aku sumer mmg speaking la...Kalu ckp malay cm odd....Bole je nk ckp malay...Tp bidang kerja ni mmg require ko ckp BI....So kalu ko ckp malay tu mcm ko ni malas la nk cube perbaiki diri ko tu....So, diorg tak kesah aku salah...Nanti diorg betul kan...Supportive jugak la diorg ni.....Tp bile aku salah tu..msti la malu kan......Kadang2 aku just gelak n diam je....Tak masuk cmpor.....Kalu aku masuk cmpor...Sure berterabor ayat aku..At last aku jugak yg malu...So, better aku senyap....

Well, IT HELPDESK aku ni...entertain client yg terdiri daripada employee HP seluruh Asia Pasific.........Ade 3 rantau tak silap aku....Eropah ngn US ke GERMANY ntah......3 rantau tu termasuk Asia Pasific la....Yg aku keje skang ni, cover Asia Pasific only.....Ade 14 country..Aku pon tak igt la semua kan.....Ok, tp kitrog tak cover customer dr luar..means mcm kalu ade org lain yg bli product HP ke....tu bkn kitrog yg handle...Ade team lain yg handle...Asenye normal customer takde IT HELPDESK, tp ade service centre...Kene gi situ tros bwk product yg diorg beli tu...So aku nye team, diorg pggl, Service Desk Team(IT HELPDESK), hanye cover masalah dr dlm, ataupun hanya utk staff HP serantau Asia Pasific shj.........

Masalah nye terdiri dr byk benda laa...Yg aku igt, NT LOGON(ni utk user login kat PC die la...ntah cmne ntah..mende ni centralized laa), APPLICATION SUPPORT, VPN, PRINTER, NETWORK, byk lagi....Poning sey.....Tp team aku cover trouble shooting laa... Soh user buat beberape test kat PC diorg yg bermasalah tu.......Kire user tu employee HP la kan.....SO bile dh run test...Nnti ade la simptom2 tertentu...Cube la buat troubleshoot selagi boleh...Kalu tak settle gak...Br la pass kat Support Team, yg handle masalah2 hardware...Maybe hardisk rosak ke....Userdomain kene virus ke...eh boleh ke user domain kene virus? Entah laa...Tp kadang2 ade masalah takleh settle melalui telefon...So kene la pass kat support team....Bile pass kat support team..kene pastikan, pass kat saluran yg betul...Sbb dlm region Asia Pasific ni ade byk country...Takkan user kat Australia, tp kite pass kat Singapore lak kan..Bende2 cmni la kene amik berat sket...Salah pass nnti kene kaunselling..Ekekek..pepehal kalu buat silap mmg kene undergo counselling ataupun retraining......

Bile angkat telepon ade dialog siot....hehehe.....

Hello, this is IT HP service desk, I'm Siti, How may I help you?

Wakakaka..pstu nk letak tepon pon ade dialog gak...bkn dialog laa...tp skrip

Thank you for calling IT HP service desk, Have a nice day.

Aku agak takot la jugak nk keje kat sini...Yelaa...aku buat troubleshoot bodo2 pon kadang2 fail...Aku tau...bole blaja...kalu nak msti kene blaja...Tp aku ni kan pemalu...ekekeke..Kalu aku malu2..nnti aku takot nk bertanye.....Byk kali aku kene sound ngn trainer aku..Adeke die kate aku buat wayang kulit...huhuuhu...takdelaa..die tanye ape itu VPN..slumber aku kate Virtual Physical Network........yelaa..aku dh lupe mende ni...aku igt sket2 je.....tp takleh la nk salahkan die...tp aku nye motivation agak down laa...bkn la down ape....aku cm terkuncup seketika..takot nk bercmbah balik.....nnti malu balik.......tu la...aku ni takot nk hadapi kenyataan.....aku kene tebalkan muke aku..tak tau ckp tak tau........tp aku tak tau...mampu ke aku tahan rase terhine...ase bodoh cmtu? Aku nk keje programming...Mmg aku poyo...aku ase programming mmg line aku.......ntah laa..kadang2 aku pon konpius ape yg aku suke buat.......yg aku tau..aku tak pernah bersungguh dlm buat sesuatu....Lg satu..aku susah nk trime pendapat org....aku senang ase org tu downgrade aku.....aku tau...aku ni teruk..ngade2...tp dh tu aku....aku perlukan mase nk trime sumer tu......aku bole trime...tp aku perlukan mase........mmg bole..klau aku berpura2 je trime sumer kate2 org len..........tp sampai bile mende ni aku bole sorok.......lepas2 tu..msti aku akan terase balik......bkn la aku taknak org ckp ape2 kat aku......aku perlukan komen2 tu.......tp aku perlukan mase nk trime...bkn aku taknak trime..........kadang2...mase2 tertentu..aku pure2 je trime ape yg org ckp...tp lepas tu aku cube remind diri aku utk piki pasal tu...lame jugak la...br aku dpt trime bende tu sbenanye..it do takes some time....tp kadang2....aku ade marah aku sendiri...lepas aku berpura2 tu....aku calm down...dan aku lupe tros...dan akhirnye..mende yg aku terase tu..ilang mcm tu aje..lenkali aku akan buat lg benda yg same......susah btol...susah aku nk explain.............

huu..ntah hape2 jd cite bosan ni plak...ermmm...aku penat la pulak..mate dh bukak separuh.....sj je nk update sket kat blog ni.................ok la...nnti ade mase aku sambung la lg.....i got to get some sleep......gnite everybody..thanks for reading......

January 01, 2005

Patience Is Hikmah

Yesterday i learned something that really amazed me. My lofe is full of stories of everybody in front me, beside me and upon me. But less the story of me. I find it really hard at first, because my life is so easy i think compare to other people around me, there is no thrill, no cries and nothings that could break me. Though i am so fragiler to break. I feel weak, and hopeless. What if under some circumstances, i will face the things that i could not bare to face? But why should i questionsthe life that had been brought to me? I should be thankfull. Maybe i was here to comfort and to witness the strenthfullness of someone else.

Early last week, i was shocked by a story that makes my lips couldnt help but smile all a long. My bestfriend, she got the job, even as a partimer, but it is better for her, better than her current status. She got time, and money to support her, to go further, that is what only matters. As if for my life, only that would matters very much to me.

And i was so happy that time, and i am about to meet back my most important person of my life. Even though he did not realise it, but i know, i am very happy to meet him, and he is too. Things just got so beautiful and the memory just go really sweet and makes me smiles and laughs even more. I just got carried away by this happiness until i was shocked by another 'tsunami' that didnt promise my smiles anymore. My friend's grandfather passed away and i know how much she love him and adore his charisme. I have also met 'arwah' but never talk to him. I couldnt bare to handle the feelings. But i cannnot cry here. I couldnt be there for her, comfort her and hear what she got to say about this. I felt so worthless, i know she will be fine, she know how to stand up for herself. But she always there when i need her. Even when i got nobody to hang out with, she'll invite me to her, and bring me wiith her, fullfill my heart, my life, and so i will not feel lonely. She was there, and i was not, and it is haunting me.

The story goes again. There was time that i felt how stupid and unshamefull i am. There was part where i thought i could go further. There was time where i felt i'm just always at the bottom of everything. I'm not thankful for what i had. I had no ability to choose or to make desicion. I think i could choose not the right thing. I feel like i have no good future. I'm just hopeless, empty, stupid and everything worst of life. I can still bare these things. I can look at it at tell myself, how stupid of you to do that. You want your future to be bright, but you never try to fix it. You let everybody do it for you and let it like that for the rest of your life. You are leaving it too much to everybody else that makes you handicapped enough to do anything by yourself. Do i know what i am doing? That is just the most popular things to ask myself right now.

Another thing that occur that makes my eyes open. My colleague from UPM, where i used to work with everyday. Discussing things and ask for help, almost everything that resulting a good outcome for our project. She is in no question about her talents and skills. However, i think there is no walls in front of me to put bothers that i could not be like her. Is just that, she always serious to what she is doing, and i'm always felt bored and doing other things because there is somebody beside us do the same thing like mine. The moment just fade away like that without me taking any notes or learn for something. However, lastnight, she told me, she got the new project as a teammate. There were me, her and another colleague that were interviewing for the job, and she was being picked up. I know it from the begining, because our boss did not mention about it to us, but her. But she gave me the support to try myself, ask my boss. So we got the interview. This didnt bother much to me, because i knew, she will get it. But then what amazed me is the way she acted to face her faith. Days earlier, we did not received any news from the interview. So, we thought that we didnt get it. She was sad and sadness didnot harm her or anything. She still the person i met from the first day i worked at UPM. And after that, i was confirmed to get a new job, so i didnot care about the interview so much. And she was still like that, she still treat me as ussual. There is no disapointment or jealosy as i am so much lazier than her. I felt sorry for her. But things got worst to her side, she got a call from motorola, they was kind of interested to her, but they told her, they will contact her by the end of the day, but there was just a silence from her mobile phone until the day went dark and she was too tired to feel anything. By the end of the day, just few minutes after we were to say goodbye to each other, i went to the toilet. And she was there with my boss and other colleagues. There was still things to settle up, so we were still there until dark, not really dark, only after magreb, we plan to go back and finally say our goodbye. And when i returned, she called me, she looked so happy and energized. I was so amazed, there must be something came up. She told me, she got the job! Our boss told her exactly when i went to the toilet. I was so happy for her. After so many hard things happens to her, and she still like that, and after this good news, she just so thanksfull and happy, i was and still very happy for her. But when i was in the car, going back, i was like been hit by something. I was rejected! I know that i already got a job, and there is still time for my to fx myself, but i still feel rejected. She was chose among us, and i was rejected. but i realize the way she do her job, compared to my way of doing my job. I was so mad at my boss, the way he was bossing us and the way he let our other colleague do their job, as for my rebellious act, i stop doing my job, the way i used to do it. But she still like that, taking the responsibilities with her. She was all alone, bt she never fails to stay conected and fullfill my boss requirement. I was lost in transiction, where i did not do anything to fix my mood. my interest and my responsibility just went like that like a dust. So this is how my boss compared us, and i know where is my mistake to be rejected. So now, i must learned from this, where i should fix me, my ownself and my working attitude. thanks to her, i learned this.

Wow, that were just part of me to tell. I didnt know i could be this long..Hahaha..No lah. I think a part of my brain still working so i could think. But i still miss someone that everytime would witness my desicion, my breakings of life. I got a new job, and i must fix the way i look at things when it comes to things they called 'occupation'. I want to grow, and i want to strenghen my skills. i think that is all for now. thank you for reading.