November 29, 2007

Ibu...

Smlm byk tul bende terjadi...Ntah la aku ni betul ke tak betul.....Pagi2 dpt call dr big boss....
 
"Fatimah, yesterday when i went back, i saw u didn't keep the projector and laptop inside..It was left in the meeting room just like that...."
 
I blurted out for a moment? Was i suppose to be the owner of those mistake? I was just a backup.. Nobody tells me anything...I thought i has been taken care of..If i were the person who took everything and put it where i was to be on the meeting, then i suppose, it is really me to be blame....I dont know whether i suppose to be mad back or just listen.....I was really shocked and dumb-silent....
 
"If we lost those thing, you will be surcharge on your salary...I will not take the resposibility...It it yours!"
 
Again, only "I'm sorry Puan" came out of my mouth...At this point i thought..maybe i was wrong...All of the meeting comittee were outsiders..Only me, the big bos and another lady higher ranking than me were the insiders....Maybe because my rank is the lowest that it is my resposibility...If it seems unfair, that the right word to put it, at least, i should be a little more aware and alert of every situation...I should be blame..That is all everyone is concern..Making me say to myself..I have no time..No time at all to prove who i am?!!..I can't wait to be ranked up......
 
I reminds me of a time when someone nominated me to be an emcee to one of this goverment association...the session turns out to be a bigg havoc and everybody put blame on me..My bestfriend told me that i'm doing well...But there's a person saying i should know everything..I was blamming the urusetia that they were not aware and just want to be named or ranked....Every responsibility..they dont want to handle...But this person blame me....She said it is clear enough that this is my responsibility...Wasn't i reminded the urusetia i never expirience this kind of thing and i dont know what to do at what point...Doesnt them at least have a mercy help me a little????..But it was somehow not my fault at all, i had tried to control it but it was out of my control.....was people coming to the dewan late my resposibility? I am to greet the speaker...I am to call people to come to the dewan.....If i can order anyone to do...Why suppose i am the kuli? Should they nominate me as the Ketua then?.....Is it how it is in goverment institutions?
 
But then again..It just making my mind feeling tired.....
 
Later yesterday i was to attend a meeting..Again as kuli i have to run from one person to another just to inform what is next what word to be put in on the slide.......Is this my scope of work? I know..being inside the meeting without any purpose is buang masa buang duit.......The purpose just.."Awak kene backup saya kalau saya lupa" This is not from the big bos but from someone else.....She's higher ranked than me of course...At least give me some point to attend...At least to give my idea..Or to jote down anything for the analisys..Or to documentate anything......No..i was just there to listen..I did jote down my own notes..But it was not for anything..It is Buang Masa and buang kertas.......I'm not complaining..But i'm feeling something is wrong somewhere...And i'm tired................But at least...as a kuli to run there run here and being an interpreter..Somehow goverment languange is different from vendors...So as i konon have the expirience at the swasta side..So bolelah kot.......
 
It was not this writting is heading to actually..Just to point out a very tiredfull day yesterday..On the evening..I have to rush back to the office which was 500m walks....to take my handphone which i left accidently..HUhuhu..I was being very clumsy yesterday..Not really a bad day..I had worst.....I suppose......Then while riding on the bike with hubby..Just 5-10 minutes away from home...It was raining.....start with a tick tick.....then continius to pour like crazy....Huwaaa..But luckily we reached my mother's house with being 20-25% wet...........Still ok laa...
 
So i didn't touch firdaus....He was just laying and playing with his nenek as usual..Sudently he saw me...Hiiiii i was cheering him....He noded and anxiosly smiled at me....Then he cried saying something like..."AiiiBuuuu".... I cheer him back..."Buuuu".. He didnt stop crying..My mother asked me to change my cloths and take him..So i did..And he was very happy with it...And i played with him..Gave him my susu badan.....I was very pleasing...........Then i my mother took him back from me...Ya la just nk ajak main2...Since it still raining..taknak la balik rumah time hujan.......HE was being again.........."AiiiBuuuu".... ..."AiiiBuuuu".... ..."AiiiBuuuu".... and was jerking himself towards me......Of course die dh pandai lompat2..But setahu aku die blom bertujuan lg..Cm lompat2 je la takde destinasi...........Tp kali ni die mcm nk pegi dekat aku..THen my brother was telling me.."DIe panggil along tu..Ibu Ibu" Hohohohohoo...I took him to my lap...And he was being cheerfull again and stop saying ..."AiiiBuuuu".... ..."AiiiBuuuu".... ....Hahahaha...tak tau la kalu aku perasan ke tak...Just want to keep this moment as a note...My son was already calling me ..."AiiiBuuuu".... ..."AiiiBuuuu".... ......And i was bahasakan diri  MAMA....ok la tu..maybe this is his choise..we'll see later what is gonna be...Abah gonna be very jealous about this firdaus...Hahahaha....:p
 
Like my friend used to say..Bad things will come along with Good things..So i take her word.......Alhamdulillah......
 
Hope for a better day today and after..Insya Allah.....

November 27, 2007

Story To Tell Today...

I am frustrated early in the morning...later i was amazed by how people interact with their surroundings......They know just what to say or act...It was like something slipping very instant from their mind and they were just blowing it out...Very easy...I imagine myself trying to do that such....I think, things would not be the same....I will say something i didnt mean to....I would be making fun out of myself....I feel so low and unmatured...I have 4 years of working expirience and here i am....i feel nothing out of me!!!
 
I want to excell like last time.....I want to show my brighter side...I want to be awarded by my ability....I cant wait to know what is my biggest skill..what is my talent????.......huhuhuhuu
 
Please god...Lead me my truthfull way......amin...

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Regards,
Siti Fatimah Khairiah M Amin

November 26, 2007

1st Time Demam...huhuhu

Firdaus memang bese la badan panas... Tp takdela merengek... Mama yg risau2, bawak gi klinik, dokter kate tak demam.... Tak pernah demam wpn lepas kene injek... Power la anak mama ni... Skali 1 mlm di malam jumaat.. Hohoho... Mama mendapati diri mama tidak dpt tido walau 1 sen pon... Hehehe... Sebab nya firdaus mcm lapa.. Mama bg susu badan firdaus marah.. Mama bagi botol.. Tuka2 puting 2 3 kali firdaus nyusu sikit je... Pstu kepala panass manjang.. Besenye kalu panas tu kejap tu sejuk balik.. Ni tak surut2... Mama risauuuu gilerr.. Huhuhuu...... Pstu pg tu gi klinik bole lak dokter tak dtg lg... Pstu nenek yg bawak gi klinik.. Tgk2 doktor kate anak mama demammmmm... Huwaaaaaaaaaaaaa...tak penah2 ni la 1st time dpt antibiotik...........Sbb dokter kate tekak Firdaus merah... Ptt la nangis suara serak... Huhuhuhu......
 
Pstu next night... Wpn mkn ubat..still anak mama takleh tdo mlm..Sejuk kot ek...Nk tdo dlm pelukan mama.. Huhuhuhuhu.. Cian die...Menggeletek2 bile mama bg makan ubat.. Mama pn rasa la sket antibiotik tu.. Menyengat upenye ubat tu.. Apa la doktor ni kasi ubat kuat2 kt baby mama.. Huhuhu.... Hari ahad pagi tu firdaus dh bole agah2 mama balik.....Even tdo lama tu....Pg tu subuh kejut mama bgn subuh...Pstu tdo kul 10pg taknak bgn lagi..gileee wa ckp lu...tu dh sehat la tu..Alhamdulillah... Hehehe...pstu mama yg kejut minum susu..Sbb tekak tak elok firdaus kurang menyusu sket la..Br la nk isap betul2 susu mama... Kalu tak nk marahhh je......Demam sbb mama gi outstation aritu ke..Tinggal firdaus lg..Huhuhuhu..Cian anak mama......
 
Skang ni dh sehat alhamdulillah..Mlm2 takyah mama bancuh susu dh..lepas susu badan tros tdo balik...Dh sihat anak mama ni mmg tak nyusahkan mama kn..Alhamdulillah...Time dh sihat ni sebok la mulut die dok Uuuu Uuuuu Gege gegege..Uuuuuuu Gegegeegege.. Pe ntah die nk ckp...Cm mengadu la sakit ktne ntah...Huhuhuhu............
 
Ape2 pn mama cayannnnnng die sangat..Rinduuuu diee..ase nk benti keje....Hehehehehehe

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Regards,
Siti Fatimah Khairiah M Amin

November 14, 2007

Anak Mama...

Huhuhu...cedih nya mama......Smlm mama tak ase cedih lg...sbb mama balik keje je..anak mama tdo...pstu bgn2 nmpk mama tros senyum2...gelak2...sambil menetek.....wpn mcm nak taknak je menetek....tp tgk muka anak mama ceria mama hepi la jgk.....Skali nenek bgtau...anak mama baru lepas jatuh drpd kerusi......huhuhuhuhuhu....tu la dh bergolek dh anak mama..tak brape pandai lg..grabbing2 pn malas2 lg..bole sbenanye..tp anak mama ni mcm malas2 sket la mama tgk....die lg suke mama bagi die...huhuhu...tp bergolek laju plak die........yela..mgkin anak mama mcm tak brape berani lagi kut.......takpelaa..janji Firdaus membesar ngn sehat ye sayang...
 
Pastu malam tadi firdaus nk tdo peluk mama...slalu mama peluk firdaus bangun..ni dh kene peluk br la firdaus tdo..mama lepas je firdaus bangun....cedih mama..pstu pg tadi mama rasa kepala..demam pulak...huhuhu..ciannya anak mama.......
 
mama tak saba nk balik nk jmpe firdaus...mama harap firdaus dh baik demam...nnti mama bg mkn ubat lg ek..mama rasa nk cuti je nk belai2 anak mama...tp mama takleh cuti lak...huhuhu...jumaat mama nk bawak la anak mama gi opis...tp sapa plak nk amik die sbelom mama betolak gi pangkor...huhuhuhu

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Regards,
Siti Fatimah Khairiah M Amin