Wednesday Mood...

It's been 3rd week i had this new cycle of life. Not referring to this blog which i had changed the layout, but referring to my own LIFE! I had to wake up early in the morning and drive along Firdaus to nursery on my own and drive to work also on my own! With the oil, car park and tol added expenses. I know that i have let my life go a little bit hey wire.

What troubled me the most is, I've always told myself that I should lead a better life along with the flow of time. But this new phenomena that spurs in front of me today is the proof of life being in a circle. We are not being at the top at all times. We will have our ups and downs.

I'm sad and unhappy. Yes i am. But i do feel happy when my husband had to put much effort to make me happy. I mean, he knows that all this troubled me, so he tried to make it all up back to me. It means a lot. It does. Thanks dear.. ;). (even though it's not the same. ;p)

Well, what happen to me is nothing compared to others. I've heard worst than this. I mean, this is just a tiny pinch of life. Right? I don't meant that I'm really lucky to have life such as this or god loves me more. I meant that emotionally this scenario is nothing compared to what other people need to face. And I've heard and seen worst. I should be thankful don't I? Alhamdulillah...

Yesterday, i confront hubby on cuti raya. He was making a decision which hurt me a little. And i tried to hurt him back which that cause myself to get hurt even more. He said he don't want to cuti on monday tuesday. He will work until the day of raya itself. I was like. why? He said because this time around it's my family turn. I was thinking what the fucking raya i'm gonna be in with out my husband around? Since my family in KL, there is no hunky punky to drive back. But almost 10years ago raya only means a lot to me on the night of raya itself. Where the whole family cooked and prepared together! So after a brief debate between us, he agrees to cuti the last day before raya. And what hurts me most is he agreed so that we wont fight.... And that hurts me.

Later the night, he called his mother up. And as i heard him talking i know why he doesn't want to cuti banyak2 on raya. Because he wants to keep his cuti for his father. Yeah, he needs to send his father sometime in October or November to the hospital again. i don't know why but it bothers me A LOT! It's not fair. It's not fair to me at all. I hope that he's not my husband so that i can kill him! :< . It's ok ida, because he's too busy, he wont read my blog! ;)...... But i take back,

I really love him and hope that he will be my husband until i die.. amin...ehehe....

Whatever it is la, He's going to cuti that day and he will realise his mistake on the day itself. I can sense it and he will say something like,
"Nasib baik abang cuti hari ni kn? suke tak?"
herghhhhhhh.....Nasib baik ko laki aku. Kalu tak aku dah sula kau tau tak!

Oh and he's BUDDY is CHINESE, so he don't have any obligation not to cuti on raya or a day before raya. Oh well just for the record lah... Huhuhuhu.......