And On My Birthday...

Wish me a very happy and most prosperous 27th birthday. There's a lot on my mind lately but didn't get me to write anything. Because I've been busy with few projects need to be done ASAP. And there's lot of work yet to be done (but not done yet of course..).. Oh who cares. Hehe...

Those Birthday Wishes...

Thanks to all especially my beloved best friend for her wish. Thanks to friends who dearly wished me. Thanks to my pakwan who also wished me on my facebook wall (though i really hope he didn't read my blog. Hehehe.). I really2 appreciate it.

The Day Itself...

I'm not really welcome to the day itself when my hubby announced lastnight that he got to stayback until late night (most probably until next morning..) because he got projet to do. But we start our day ok when he agreed to accompany me to breakfast even though it is already late for us to go to work. Thank you dear. I was thinking, he would do anything for me on my birthday (including wishing me 'Selamat Hari Jadi' by force, Giving me present also by force, Have breakfast with me also by force) but only when i ask him to. ;p.... But when he sms me by later in the morning to have lunch together. I guess it was so very nice of him. Thanks really much hubby. But still i want my present! ;p....

I went to ISM Malaysia today to claim for the price that my KMK group won!! Congratulation to them! I don't want the credits because i think i don't deserve them. Since I've done only little, gave them a little input, came up to meetings a little, gave them idea but rejected. Lucky they rejected my ideas, because if they did accept we wouldn't be winning after all. So, my bad and their good! :D... I hope I'm not that materialistic to claim for the price (if they ever want to give me some)..It's ok i guess. It's ok as it is. But i'm interested to go to Sarawak! There will be another KMK's Convention for State level in Sarawak. But still not sure when. Because I never been to Sarawak, best jugak kn?

I'm just back from having lunch with hubby. And i'm still feeling VERY HAPPY. I hope this happiness can last long, at least until hubby went home next morning... :D....

The Bleeding..

I know not all trust me when i said, i am bleeding like period. (Except my mother, hubby and my dear bestfriend).. Because i didn't look like i am sick. I'm fresh as a newborn! Really, i am. Hubby also asked me a million times, until i show him the blood and he went terrified! Good for you dear. Hehehe. I didn't mean to scare you, but i'm scared myself to hell too!

I was on blood starting from last saturday. I went to toilet to pee and saw the blood. I washed and called hubby. He was at work. And after he said he's gonna came home, i went to check again. There you go the blood is still discharging. Oh yes, it does... Do you think i need to take pictures of my blood? Oh you don't be so silly!.....

So we went to clinic. As we wait. I can't simply describe how I'm feeling. My mum got abortion experience before. I thought i would too? Can i? I am simply vulnerable too. Am i? Of course everybody does. Don't they?

As the doc call me in. I explain my issues and he did an ultrasound on my tummy. The baby looks very fine. He is active and his heart beating as normal. Doctor said, it is still not normal discharging blood during pregnancy. It is a sign of an abortion. So he is going to medicate me with 'penguat rahim' pills for a week. If the issue still persist. I need to come again and he'll monitor the baby.

But hubby's thinking the other wise. Maybe i need to go to specialist. BUT ME AND HIM DON'T HAVE ANY FREE TIMES FOR THAT.. As clinic's doctor assurance. We think, we can believe him and not going to the specialist yet. Not just yet i guess!

Until yesterday, there were still blood discharging on my panties! But my panties are clear today. Cause I've been taking the medication in full disciplined since Saturday. I hope it's a sign that the medicine is working fine. :|....

The Present...

Still hoping for present from hubby. ;p.... What would you give your very wife dear??? And looking forward to go to the Zoo, since Firdaus is so excited to see animals, so i guess this Sunday is very suitable. (Hubby is away on Saturday for his very own Kursus Induksi! CIMB pn ada Induksi... 2 hari 1 mlm tuh! Starting from this Friday...) Hubby had promised me that. Ya anything on your birthday honey.... Muahahahaha....

KMK winning prize. Curious though, am i getting any? Hehehehehe....

Breakfast and Lunch treat from hubby. Thank you so much Sayangggg... :D.....

Dpt salam Ng Yen Yen. Ye wpn aku anti kerajaan. Aku still adores those Menteri. I still feel honored when i got to hand shake any one of them!

Dpt mkn tmpt VIP dgn Menteri

Remember on 2006, my birthday present is the news that i got pregnant!.. On 2007, my birthday present is i got to be a Goverment staff.. On 2008, i got news on another baby! Alhamdulillah, and of course the winning prize of KMK... hohohoho... Still curious, am i getting any? (I think i'm starting to become MATERIALISTIC. muahahahahahha)....

Finally...

As i woke up this morning. I was thinking about my life. What had i gained. What had i became. What and what. Why and why?

I know I'm not getting any younger. I can feel that I'm reaching the moment of my death someday. Time will not stop. Time will not wait for me. I'm touched by the thinking and feeling... I don't know if i could go through everything...

Life had been so very tough on me lately. I can barely feel i got someone in life for me. I mean. not that i don't have anyone at all. It's just i got to feel very lonely at some point. I don't know why. Pregnancy blues i guess? Hehehehe....

I know, a lot of friends out there, they didn't know me well. They don't even appreciate my existence. All they know is that, I'm an emotional freak! I burst out so easily. My words were just rubbish they don't even want to care. I'm just an emotional freak, they don't have to take regards any of my thoughts. Ya, they don't. Who am i to force them to know me well? Who am i to force them to trust me? I am not good enough for them i suppose.

But I'm so very lucky. Since i know about life, I have my closest and bestest friend of all. She know who she is! Even though she said I'm predictable and i told her no you don't know me very well. But she is very right. And only she, trust me and care for me. I am so lucky to still have her as a friend. Thank you. Thank you so very much..... ;')....

And I'm so very lucky to have a very understanding Hubby. I love him so dearly. Even though he is being pushy and hard sometimes. But still, he's the one who support me. When I'm being unreasonable at times, he will guide me. And on my birthday, he gave me a gift, that he will do anything that i ask for him to do. Of course if i don't cross the line. Hehehehe. I love you Hubby.

And of course my mother who always there when i need her. Who'll be the backup when hubby is not around. :D....

Last but not least, My lovely and charming prince, my son, Firdaus. He cannot see me crying as he will wiped my face. He will kissed me. And be an adorable son. That sooth my feeling so very much......

Those are words, i got to say, on my birthday.... Ya, I'm a bit emotional and down... But i need this writing. I'm writing everything for me. I'm sorry if anyone being annoyed by this. I'm really sorry.

That's all folks...