29 Tahun dan...
I can fairly remember, when i was 7, having my own Birthday Party.
I got crayons from my Aunts. I got money, and lots of toys. I can still
remember keeping the money inside my POST BOX coin box. I can still remember
helping my day pulling out the money and coins and counted them, and sending
them to the bank. I can still remember having my own BUMIPUTERA bank
account.
Having new dress for the party, which i can only wear for 1 - 2 times,
because i grown very fast that time. I was short back then, but i grew
pretty fast after i reach 7. Often my parents need to buy me new cloths 2 or
3 times a year.
I can still remember, the day i was sent to school, i was still 6 that time,
reaching my 6th birthday. But i didn't remember my 6th Birthday Bash...
I can still remember, when i was standing alone on the 1st day of my
secondary school. My mom just teach me how to use the bus, and that's it. I
went there by myself. I was really proud. By i don't have anyone to share
with my new achievement.
I remember being a sad kid, that time. My friends was on the other class.
They have their own friends. I was never happy with my friends. I kept
betraying my good friends and end up with friends who doesn't want me in
their group.
I remember, when i was crying, on my 1st day in UTM. Seeing my parents, and
my brothers and sister leaving me all alone there. And my rumet doesn't like
me. She has her own group of friends that time. I really envy her. I really
did, call my mom, saying i want to go back.
I know, i am spoiled. But hey, i am what i am... ;p
Remember having my first dream car, small, but still able to bring me up
from KL to JB and JB to KL. :D.....
WKQ 4543...
I remember having lots of good friends. And still missing them, up until
now.
I missed UTM, so much!
Remember selling my first car, remember driving my BF first car. BHL 1366...
Remember going out with him. Remember chasing him around.
Remember i wish to be his wife, and rite now i am.
All those sweet cherish moment i had......
Feels like it happens in no time. Feels like time never passed through my
life. But i am the one who left them behind.. :(
And i remember, being the only one... The only one, of me. No one comes out
of me, now there's 2 of them...
Remember the moment i bring Firdaus home. His yellowish face was starring at
the nurse who put a loud voice to his mother. He was being protective and
cute :D...
Until now, i can't still call him ALONG, cause i still see him as my cuddly
baby.... And i can't picture myself having loads of kids. Haha. But 5 - 6 is
my personal target though.. wu~wat?
Remember, how Hafiy came out of my vagina. I can still feel the sensation. I
was on only 1/2 epi... The doctor said, it is good for me, since i will
still feel if the baby is coming. Last time, when i did that with Firdaus, i
didnt feel anything. So i guess this is good. But it hurts. But as long as i
cant feel anything during the VE stuff then it's OK. VE was really harsh by
the midwife. But if its by the doctor, and the doctor is a MAN, it feels
alright. Ekekekeke. I dont know why is that. ;p....
And right before that, we were selling our controversial car - we did had
our break up back then, and it was on my birthday!
And, we bought WSK 3852...
I was hoping, i can have another child before i reach my 30s. Looking at
myself, my current money situation.. My target is so out of reach.....
How am i, going to become pregnant on my 30s? Probably late 30s? Eh
takdelah late..Most prob mid je kot..eheheh
GULP!......
How am i, going to buy terrace house? With my current bills, build up day by
day.. Month by month?
GULP!...
Firdaus is going to school next year, eventhough only play school. I have
still to treat him as big boy. Do i need to teach him to do his homework
rite after maghrib prayers? Ah lg 1, dia dh pandai cebok sendiri lepas buang
air kecik. Air besar aku was was lg biar die cebok sendiri. But still, dia
pernah buat ok. Tau2 dh ada taik dlm bowl. Muahaha. Lg best sgt die dh
pandai tekan flush. Tapi prob, dia still kencing dlm pampers time tdo. Aku
tak de idea lg cmne nk atur die benda tu. Sbb mamat ni jenis berangin. Nnti
kalu kejut time die halfway tdo die amuk cm budak br umo setahun setengah.
Eh!
GULP!....
Adalah beberapa lagi achievement yg aku nk achieve... Mcm aku br borak
ngn hanan semalam, she was saying, the older she is, the more she
feels that she has nothing. Nothing as in cm pengetahuan la sumthing
like that. Aku pn rasa mcm tu. Mcm bodo2 je rasa. Mcm nothing in life
to look forward too. Mcm dh kemunduran gitu. Aku rasa mcm nk kene
sambung blaja balik. Tak tau la kenapa rasa mcm ni. Middle Age crisis
most probably. Is it i'm too early for this? Hahaha. Masih perasan
muda..
Muda gii. Br 29. Muahahahaha... ;p
Buat suami ku yang tersayang. I'm surprice jugak, sbb saya masih
menyayangi ANDA.. Despite semua pertembungan budaya antara kita. Sy
notice one thing, yg DAH LAMA org lain notice. Dlm perhubungan, kita
sebenarnya takkan berhenti belajar mengenai pasangan kita. Takkan
berhenti menerima kekurangan dan merasai kelebihan dia. Dan kita
sendiri pun takkan berhenti membuat dia pening kepala, mcm mana dia
buat kita pening kepala. Kerana penerimaan, pembelajaran, pening
kepala tu semua, adalah normal. Naik turun kehidupan.... Aku harap aku
ngn dia, sama2 redha ngn ketentuan kami, sentiasa dalam ikatan
perkahwinan yang utuh. Moga Allah lindungi kami, keluarga kami, dan
anak2 kami. I sayang you, smpai bila2...... (cmtu jgk la ayat dia kt
aku dlu, ntah dia igt ke tak, tp aku semakin yakin ngn ayat tu,
insyaAllah)
Chewah, mcm anniversary plak kn. Hahahhaha.
Sedih, tahun 2010 yg penuh ngn kisah aku pi jln2. Sebenarnye tahun ni
paling sedih. Kami tak dpt bersama masa tarikh2 penting. Birthday aku,
pi retreat, Anni aku, pi korea. Birthday pedaos pn aku takde gk
asenye. Huwaaa...
Tahun dpn mintak2 la Allah turunkan rezeki kami bersama. Amin...
Akhir kata, takot nih, sbb hubby dh warning, takpe2 u pegi dlu, nnti2
i plak... Huwaaaa.. Seram2..
Oklah, tu je. AKu on theway to Lake Town resort dh ni. Pinjam laptop
member. hehehe..
Last but not least. Happy Birthday to me.. :)
--
Regards,
Siti Fatimah Khairiah M Amin
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