Life Cycle of Me

"And my mother always says -... sometimes the wrong train can take you to the right station" I remember a day of my life. I was feeling a life again. Somebody asked me out. But we have friend zoned each other. Its just that, im out. Instead of feeling blurry, lonely myself. I was at that time, a saddy sappy girl.  If you ask me now, i would say, it was a wrong train that i took. I should not have left my house. It was weird, i;m a hijab gal. I should not have let myself went about that wild. And be wild. I called that wild, even though it is not. Just a night out. With friends. Which i do not particularly very close to. We are classmates yes, but we were not that close..  I was looking for my identity. As if, i did not have any. And to be wild, out and about. Mingle and talk and have friends... I was so lonely, i succumbed to that particular interest. But i was lost. That friend who asked me out left me. To that place, where i dont feel welcome. He was there, with me, at that...

Cak? heheheh.. Perjalanan Ramadhan setakat ini, Alhamdulillah, lancar. Tidaklah sempurna tetapi lancar. Tak perlu sempurna andai yang sederhana itu telah memadai. Ewah. Hehehe. Dua hari sebelum Ramadhan, kami ambil keputusan untuk bercuti sekejap di Lumut, Perak. Kami bercadang bawa umi dan ayah aku sekali. Suami baru je selesai satu task yang agak memeningkan kepala dia. Well, kepeningan tu tak habis lagi, tapi nampak macam he needed a short break so much. So off we went. It was a nice hotel. Quite remote from the main land - not an island though. As usual, the main essentials for the kids - a pool. We made a quick stop to meet his mother at Hospital Teluk Intan. She is hospitalized for an imbalanced diabetic readings. She is loosing her appetite and somehow still not eating well. Up until now, it has been 5days in the hospital and days before with eating disorder. We still don't know the real diagnosis, still waiting and things not progressing very well. Well, but we're still...

Makin lama aku tengok cerita-cerita Korea ni, baik Filem atau Kisah Bersiri, makin mengingatkan aku minat aku menulis. Aku memang dari dulu suka menulis, tapi tak serius. I'd write off my minds. Tak kisah apa aku fikir, aku tulis je. Panjang lebar. With lots of rojak, like right now, short forms and many other handicaps. Banyak kekurangan. Which is too far from being a good writer, which someone will appreciate my writings. Memang jauh la kan nak ke situ. Tapi makin lama aku tengok cerita-cerita Korea ni. Makin macam rasa, sedap nya kalau aku dapat menulis sesuatu yang beneficial. Sesuatu yang will be appreciated. Bukan apa, ada perbezaan dari sudut genre cerita-cerita garapan Korea dan Melayu. Aku cakap melayu sebab aku jarang tertengok garapan indian or chinese di Malaysia. By the way, garapan Korea lebih specifik, fokus dan teknikal. Ada cinta, ada romantik dan ada lucu, tapi ada juga fakta-fakta teknikal. Contoh kalau kisah pilot. Bukan sekadar pergi balik airport, pakai ...

Mama cuti sejak 1 Mac 2019 haritu sebab Aisha kena Chicken Pox. Smpailah semalam 7 Mac 2019. So today, 8 Mac 2019, Aisha lepak dengan abah. 1. Hantar mama pi kerja dan breakfast dengan mama 2. Kemas rumah, spring cleaning dan cuci kereta 3. Pi ikut abah Solat Jumaat 4. Cuci gigi 5. Potong Rambut

Kita tu kadang, tak berterima kasih dengan Allah. Kita terlalu nak tunjuk, kita ni hebat itu, hebat ini, beruntung itu, beruntung ini. Tapi dalam masa yang sama, susah itu, susah ini. Jadi orang lain kena tolong, kena beri peluang. Selfish! Padahal dalam hidup ini sangat adil. Ada orang lebih kat situ, tapi adalah tempat lain Allah kurangkan. Bila kita nampak orang tu tak ada, kita ada. Mulalah kita kecam, kata orang tu tak buat macam kita buat. Aku okay lagi, kalau sesetengah orang tu suka nak menunjuk-nunjuk kelebihan dia. Okay je, dah itu rezeki dia. Alhamdulillah, aku tumpang bersyukur. Tapi aku tak boleh nak okay, bila mana dia mula mengadili hidup orang lain. Mulalah nak kecam, kononnya orang tu tak cukup berusaha seperti dia! Oh my god, kau macam tau sangat pasal kehidupan orang. Dah tu, masa yang kau tak berusaha sampai nak senang macam orang lain tu tak apa pula?  Kita tak payah berlebih-lebih nak mengadili hakam hidup orang lain. Kita mungkin boleh utarakan pendapat kita seka...

Bukan kisah malam jumaat ye dik. Akak ni sejenis suci, kisah-kisah 18sx tu, akak tak suka nak ceritakan secara maya macam ni. Tapi kalau adik ni kawan akan kat real-life. You will know me as a totally different. Kekadang akak memang rasa akak ni ada split personality. Tapi akak sah kan di sini, Alhamdulillah, akak ni waras. Gila tu mungkin sejenis perangai, yang akak rasa normal je. Kalau adik rasa tak normal, itu masalah adik. Akak tak ambil port. Lantak kau lah situ. It is just you with your own opinion, you owned it, not me! Gituu. Sejenis tetibe emo tetibe ceria. Semalam, akak dah siap mandi wangi-wangi, laki akak announce: "I ada kerja ni..." So akak dah faham, kalau dia cakap gitu, maksudnya, dia expect akak jaga anak-anak, dan jangan kacau dia. Macamlah malam sebelum-sebelum tu dia yang jaga anak kan? Tapi akak sabar je. Dah 12 tahun akak sabar dik. Akak rasa kesabaran akak ni memang semakin lama semakin utuh. Begitulah cinta. Akak rasalahkan.. Then akak pun balas: ...

*Tahun peperiksaan Firdaus Hafiy Ammar Aisha* 2019 - Firdaus UPSR  (38) 2021 - Hafiy     UPSR  (40) 2022 - Firdaus  PT3     (41) 2024 - Firdaus SPM     (43)            Hafiy      PT3                 Ammar   UPSR 2026 - Hafiy      SPM    (45) 2027 - Ammar   PT3     (46)            Aisha      UPSR 2029 - Ammar   SPM    (48) 2030 - Aisha      PT3     (49) 2032 - Aisha      SPM    (51) -- Regards, Siti Fatimah Khairiah M Amin