When Men Cheat.
Seriously. Wht do they thought about when they did, wht they did. I still didn't see it rite now. My husband seems very much OK rite now. I am indeed still put him on my very top of the list. (whoa, i have a list don't u know? eheheh)
I mean. We're still at a very young age of our relationships. There still much to explore and feel. There still sparks and sparkle every now and then. For example, just last nite, he was so happy because i cooked good meal for him. But the nite before he gets really mad when both of our sons cried, and i don't know how to stop them. And he was seeing Chong Wei defeated by Lin Dan. And things got upset. But that's just normal. I think it just part of my current marriage life. It's a sign of a good marriage (still intact). Alhamdulillah.
But i know, i have to set myself. If suddenly......... I mean, I know, by all means, things might change.
But by all means, i will do, whatever, i need to do, to make sure, me and my husband always be together, for as long as our hearts beats. InsyaAllah. May Allah bless our marriage till the end of time, till death do us apart, till the after life. Amin.. Ya Rabbal Alamin...
My points is. For most cases. Broken marriage happens, without a sign. Everything seems very normal. Husband coming back to the house. Bring the wife to holiday. Do what every other couple do(s) and don't(s). I mean, it seems so illogical to think about the husband doing something else at the back. Lets not be biased, there were also cases done by the wives. Not just men who messed around.
Ok maybe, sometimes, either the husband or the wife, not coming home on time. Didn't come back at all. Or maybe rarely be home and and spend time with his/her family. Always busy with something else. etc.
But that just normal to some couple. For example, i got friends whom their husband, got tied up with work, working on shift, or even work at different cities. Weekend husband and wife for example. etc. But they seems ok. They've been years like that. There is still sparks. And we, the wives, very confident about our husband where being. We still feel the love from them.
Even though typical malays, were not romantic. They never even try to be romantic. All they know, they are working, they are finding money for their family. So the wife needs to understand their husband. Need to be tough. Every time, when they need to deal with the children alone. And at young age of marriage. The children is still small, needy and helpless. Rough fullness of times without the husband is not counted. The restlessness of the husband of being away from home for so long is the only thing counted. Ya, it seems unfair. But that just what it is.......
That's why, first wife, can never accept second wife. Usually, all the tough times are faced by the 1st wives. 2nd wife came when rough times merely ends. Or even vanish already. The husband already become successful and had a lot of money. Family economy are usually stabilize. The 1st wife need not to bother much about the kids, cause they can be on their own at that point of time. Maybe there is still, harsh time for school, but seems she faced tougher times previously, so she'll be ok for this. And husband can be taking for granted as usual. Maybe he feels, the family doesn't need him anymore. He got more time for him and eventually spending that time with his other mates. Therefor, i let the rest of it linger on YOUR mind on your own...
So, wht makes me writes about this is, WHY? What are they thinking when they do it? They like forgetting (or maybe neglecting) all the obstacles, harsh fullness, faced by their 1st wives at the early stage of marriage. When they think that, everything had went obsolete. Means there's nothing more that sparks or sparkle between them, so they like have rights to do it. To cheat on their wife and be with other woman. It's like totally, putting all the effort of the wives on the trash. And that's it. It's no big deal.
She got the kids. She eventually got the house and the car. So basically she got it all.
All he did was only, having a new mate. To full fill his emptiness.
The wife or the mother most probably spending time most with the kids, so the father felt left out and lonely.
Bull shit.
As a wife, me and the kids are waiting for the husband to comeback home. Every second that the husband left the house. Every second we are counting the clock.
But is that how he feels? About all this?
I mean, generally? Or is it just about SEX? Sex life doesn't feel good anymore. He needs new mate to satisfy his needs is it? But this is too taboo question or issues. This will not brought up at any time.
Usually, either about the wife is not rite. Or the time has come, that he found another mate that fill in the blanks in his heart.
Yes, exactly. Man who thinks like that is SELFISH.
They take their wife for granted. They feel that they had given EVERYTHING to the wife, so they deserve to be serve by a younger or newer version of wife (second wife, can be younger or older, but still NEW STUFF!)
But then again, all this were destined. That's why i am never confident with my life. If the time comes, i know it might, i need to accept.
Rite now, i think, i'm preparing myself...
--
Regards,
Siti Fatimah Khairiah M Amin
I mean. We're still at a very young age of our relationships. There still much to explore and feel. There still sparks and sparkle every now and then. For example, just last nite, he was so happy because i cooked good meal for him. But the nite before he gets really mad when both of our sons cried, and i don't know how to stop them. And he was seeing Chong Wei defeated by Lin Dan. And things got upset. But that's just normal. I think it just part of my current marriage life. It's a sign of a good marriage (still intact). Alhamdulillah.
But i know, i have to set myself. If suddenly......... I mean, I know, by all means, things might change.
But by all means, i will do, whatever, i need to do, to make sure, me and my husband always be together, for as long as our hearts beats. InsyaAllah. May Allah bless our marriage till the end of time, till death do us apart, till the after life. Amin.. Ya Rabbal Alamin...
My points is. For most cases. Broken marriage happens, without a sign. Everything seems very normal. Husband coming back to the house. Bring the wife to holiday. Do what every other couple do(s) and don't(s). I mean, it seems so illogical to think about the husband doing something else at the back. Lets not be biased, there were also cases done by the wives. Not just men who messed around.
Ok maybe, sometimes, either the husband or the wife, not coming home on time. Didn't come back at all. Or maybe rarely be home and and spend time with his/her family. Always busy with something else. etc.
But that just normal to some couple. For example, i got friends whom their husband, got tied up with work, working on shift, or even work at different cities. Weekend husband and wife for example. etc. But they seems ok. They've been years like that. There is still sparks. And we, the wives, very confident about our husband where being. We still feel the love from them.
Even though typical malays, were not romantic. They never even try to be romantic. All they know, they are working, they are finding money for their family. So the wife needs to understand their husband. Need to be tough. Every time, when they need to deal with the children alone. And at young age of marriage. The children is still small, needy and helpless. Rough fullness of times without the husband is not counted. The restlessness of the husband of being away from home for so long is the only thing counted. Ya, it seems unfair. But that just what it is.......
That's why, first wife, can never accept second wife. Usually, all the tough times are faced by the 1st wives. 2nd wife came when rough times merely ends. Or even vanish already. The husband already become successful and had a lot of money. Family economy are usually stabilize. The 1st wife need not to bother much about the kids, cause they can be on their own at that point of time. Maybe there is still, harsh time for school, but seems she faced tougher times previously, so she'll be ok for this. And husband can be taking for granted as usual. Maybe he feels, the family doesn't need him anymore. He got more time for him and eventually spending that time with his other mates. Therefor, i let the rest of it linger on YOUR mind on your own...
So, wht makes me writes about this is, WHY? What are they thinking when they do it? They like forgetting (or maybe neglecting) all the obstacles, harsh fullness, faced by their 1st wives at the early stage of marriage. When they think that, everything had went obsolete. Means there's nothing more that sparks or sparkle between them, so they like have rights to do it. To cheat on their wife and be with other woman. It's like totally, putting all the effort of the wives on the trash. And that's it. It's no big deal.
She got the kids. She eventually got the house and the car. So basically she got it all.
All he did was only, having a new mate. To full fill his emptiness.
The wife or the mother most probably spending time most with the kids, so the father felt left out and lonely.
Bull shit.
As a wife, me and the kids are waiting for the husband to comeback home. Every second that the husband left the house. Every second we are counting the clock.
But is that how he feels? About all this?
I mean, generally? Or is it just about SEX? Sex life doesn't feel good anymore. He needs new mate to satisfy his needs is it? But this is too taboo question or issues. This will not brought up at any time.
Usually, either about the wife is not rite. Or the time has come, that he found another mate that fill in the blanks in his heart.
Yes, exactly. Man who thinks like that is SELFISH.
They take their wife for granted. They feel that they had given EVERYTHING to the wife, so they deserve to be serve by a younger or newer version of wife (second wife, can be younger or older, but still NEW STUFF!)
But then again, all this were destined. That's why i am never confident with my life. If the time comes, i know it might, i need to accept.
Rite now, i think, i'm preparing myself...
In the name of Allah S.W.T, I, Siti Fatimah Khairiah, take you, Shahrun Hisam, to be my husband, to have and to hold each other, from the moment we got married to days forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death, until the day of eternity, This is my solemn vow.
Regards,
Siti Fatimah Khairiah M Amin
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