March 17, 2017

Hari Ini Dan Semalam,

Apa yang telah anda lakukan semalam untuk menjadi seperti hari ini?

Apa kebaikan dan usaha yang telah anda laburkan untuk ada apa yang anda punyai hari ini?

Apa kelebihan diri anda untuk berdiri atau duduk dikerusi anda sekarang?

Kebendaan disekeliling anda, anda punya, tapi layakkah anda untuk punyai semua itu?

Siapa anda, anak siapa, belajar di mana, berkaitkah dengan siapa anda hari ini?

We don't deserve what we believe we do because of what we are.

That is what i think today.

I don't deserve anything of my possession.

Many sleeps on the streets, have no home, have no money in the bank, have no food on the table, have no kids, have no husband, have no work, have nothing..

My mother, sends me to a house, when she went to work - someone being raped and tortured by being send by her mother to almost identical situation.

I've been to a school in town, to get my certifications on high school examination - a friend of mine, went there as well, somewhere in time, she slipped school and met a guy. She was kicked out of school since then, and now a divorcee with kids, with no job. I lost her from facebook since she told me her story. She said i have a wonderful life. 

Later, i get my degree from UTM, and have a permanent job. I'm married with four wonderful kids. My kids probably don't always brings me back flying colors results, but they definitely brings back joy and colors my life and my husband life. 

I heard stories about my classmates. Losing jobs. Loosing spouse. Loosing family members. having tough life. Someone even died due to stress as a sole breadwinner. Allahuakhbar. They have been in a very tough life. 

I just happen to be born, from my mother with Chinese heritage, from my father with Bugis heritage. Married to a husband with Banjar heritage. It was all planned by God, not my choice. And so does everybody. I hate myself for looking down on other people. How do they know they will be born chinese in a country where Bumiputera title is so important? How do they know they will be born to a parent that lives on the streets? 

We never know my friend. Because its faith.

Yes we have to pull ourselves to not stop trying. But faith always the winner.

Subhanallah. Alhamdulillah.

Happy Friday Folks.

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Regards,
Siti Fatimah Khairiah M Amin

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