Gay Boy or "Woo" Man

Hello again to my simply unresistable but complicated life. Err as in thinking. I do think unacceptably complicated and somewhat people see it as "negative". I know, i am. But here is what i have been thinking this morning..........

i have been sitting in front of my office(i dont have keys yet), looking, thinking of my assignment(which i still thinking how to go about it). one moment, a girl, emm no, a guy to be exact, a guy who wears girls cloths. I would go for 'he' so we will not be confused. He wears long pants and nice-not-too-tight t-shirt. And what surprice me(i cant never stop my eyes from looking), he dont have the thing that guys always have(which what give me the idea what to write about today). You know, the guy thing-i never know what it is called in english. He probably did a surgery to remove it from his body. So now, he is basicly a woman.

As he move away. Not really very quickly. This weird thing does not gain that much attention from people nowadays. Except for me, i got nothing to do by sitting there, so i look and thing. As he disappear from my looking eyes, i got myself a kick. which is, i really do not understand, why oh why a person, would want to do that to his own body or nature. They said, they can never pretend who they really are inside, so by doing that, they actually can live in this world more repected and more satisfacted. Is it?

How can that be? they bring more pain to their own body. How can they be respected. They are not really a man, but not just yet a woman. Right? I dont understand, how exactly those thing made them more satisfy with their ownself? Is it so hard to be a man?

We are born not perfect, yes we are. I know i am not perfect as a woman myself(not to mention my behaviour what so ever). But is it so hard, to accept what god gave us and try to live by it, with it?

I cant understand the relationship. As for about 4-5 years ago, i also dont understand relationship between a man and a woman. What is lust? I never know by then. So now, when i can feel it, i mean the lust of course, i cant really understand the relationship between a man and another man, and a woman with another woman in terms of sex. There let just say it. Yes, i admit, woman is a woman bestfriend. We understands each other. We know what is best for each other. We know why we are thinking the other way around than a man. Although, a woman touch some what pleasing, as in my own mother, my close friends, but those can never be the same with a man touch. I mean, the man which i had lust on, as in i love but not really as my father's love of course. They do touch you in terms of feeling, in terms of lust what so ever, but really different from a bestfriend, as in, your woman bestfriend. I think same goes with guys. They do have bestfriends too. And they still need a woman in their life. Which is what makes both woman and man are perfect for each other. For some reason, we do think differently, there are a lot of misunderstanding, but that what makes us perfect for each other. We learn about each other until we died. That what keeps us going with each other.

Sometimes, even the present of my best girl friend. I love being with her. I love talking with her. She understand my needs and she nurture me everytime i was down. Cant do my work what so ever. She knows how to handle me. But i do feel lonely. I feel incomplete. I cried just for that feeling. I know i should have not crying. But the point is, woman can never feel or be perfecto with out a man. We have a lot for each other to give, learn and tolerate.

I dont know how exactly man feels with out a woman. I am well informed about the lust they have for each other(of course i mean for all those gays). But then, i can never accept the way the made themselves be. Cutting the thing that was born with them. Circularly fit to their bodies. Removing a gift by god and by nature, just to be the one they want to be. Is it fair? Not to mention to god, but is it fair to their own?

Think about it. You can never find the answer i suppose(if you are thinking like me). I am wondering. Should i ever have a thought like this? I dont know. There will always be a point in life you never know. But what is what is not the issue. But what comes out it is. So there. I think that is all for now. Da da for now everybody. ;)

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