Memoirs of Gheishas............

A long dot for a long paused.......

I was very lucky... in my life I AM very lucky...Alhamdulillah......

when i was just a form 1 student.. there was a car...stopped next to me when i was waiting for my bus to school..and a man came out telling me to get in the car....I manage to avoid him and went to my friend's house..........

i was being a girlfriend via internet....to a person whom now calling our relationship - nothing! i was so hurt when he said he don't want me anymore...i wasn't even thinking how my life could have changed if i....well...we met and he did approach me on being his bed partner!! no kidding...but i was so blur..or maybe innocent...i'm just not into it yet that time....well am i lucky? or maybe god had helped me??

when i was on my practical..there was a guy...so keen to be my partner...i wasn't thinking anything..but to think again...how social his life was...and how nerdy and unattractive i was....his intentions could be vary and i was just so lucky to not liking him and be his partner...or maybe social partner...just a step from my decision could ruin mylife....


i was just a step of being a BOHSIA or what people call it nowadays?...I was just a step of being a USELESS WOMAN...woman who lost her everything......virginity...trust from her own family......education's road trip...carrier....and LIFE!.... Yes, people need to admit it......woman's life is all about BEING A VIRGIN and EDUCATION...and CARRIER......maybe woman today are different..but i just dont see it.....ok..if u are a call-girl and u have a degree...Your situation could be better...maybe?

But look at woman who are nothing...they have no degree..their husband left them.....they have no income...no job suit them...they don't cook well...they don't know how to sew....THEY ARE NOT VIRGIN anymore when they reach 15 16 or even 18......Nobody wants them! maybe they had stepped on the wrong path...and suddently, yes, they are WHORES...they have no standards or even human rights!!!!! What is this? I'm not talking about woman who came from the upper level community..who manage to have money but still giving their body to everyone...being that whore i'm not interested...but being someone who is poor.........who just can't afford to make mistakes......and end up being a Sexual Workers and being below the level of a human being........................

I cant take it....i dont knw if i can help out......When i step inside the Sexual Worker House....When i saw a lady making a bottle of milk...I'm picturing myself..making a bottle of milk for my son.......And the lady went to her baby son...who is very cute.....a caucassion face-look-a-like...gave him what he need...The baby is born.....Being a son of a BITCH....A bitch who is doing wrong to her life......How can the lady turn back time? HOW can we help out? Yes, she is very dirty to our eyes.......She is doing sinfull thing to her life...or maybe spreading HIV to our husbands.....and to us! But can we forgive ourselves....to see the baby..being ignored...being hate by US? What if the baby is our own...What do we feel to have a baby that is being hate by the community...Just because the baby could have had HIV too? I was crying in my heart....I missed the baby...I wish to see him again and this time i would like to hug him.....I even feel like i want to take him and take care of him as my own child......I want him to be loved....And adored.......

Get out people.....Helping out doesn;t mean we are accepting the sinfull agenda....Doesn;t mean we are forgiving it easyly......But at least open up our mind....Give your smile at least...a warm hug to them...They are people too......They have heart too....We are just so damn lucky PEOPLE!!! We could have slipped too and be one of them!!! God just love us more i guess....If we just lend a little of our love to them...there are just nothing to loose......just open up....have some respect....get up to senses...and have some humanitarian feelings.....STOP OURSELVES from being A BITCH ourselves...!!!!
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Regards,
Siti Fatimah Khairiah M Amin

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