Life Cycle of Me

Nak jugak tulis sesuatu..Dh byk kali attemp aku tak berjaya tulis pepe...Akhirnya ni dpt la sikit masa nk coret2....:)...   A lot of things happened in my life lately... I was in the midst of being a useful person for my bos.....In the midst baru..sbb nya tak tau lg outcome die cemana... Kot2 kene bambu ke ape ke..ekekekek......Bia la tu tu tak penting sgt...Aku bese la kerja no2...ehehehe   Aku dh semakin tembam sekarang ini..HUhuhuhuhu..itu yg pstinye....cemana nk kurus balik ntah asek lapaaa jee..ish ish......Breastfeed dh tak byk air kuar pn..pg2 msti firdaus carik susu gk....Tp kadang2 mamat tu timing belt gk...Kadang2 tamau susu nk tros tdo......tp takpela..sepanjang2 ni anak mama ni blom lg la menyusahkan mama sgt..Baby bese la mama rase...Eh mama ke ibu..belasah je la..hihihi...   Smlm firdaus kene injek bersempena die masuk genap 5 bulan..Huhuhu Kesian doktor tu buat sakit la aku ase....dalam sgt die cucuk pstu lama sgt jarum dok dlm bontot firdaus..huhuhuh...

Smlm byk tul bende terjadi...Ntah la aku ni betul ke tak betul.....Pagi2 dpt call dr big boss....   "Fatimah, yesterday when i went back, i saw u didn't keep the projector and laptop inside..It was left in the meeting room just like that...."   I blurted out for a moment? Was i suppose to be the owner of those mistake? I was just a backup.. Nobody tells me anything...I thought i has been taken care of..If i were the person who took everything and put it where i was to be on the meeting, then i suppose, it is really me to be blame....I dont know whether i suppose to be mad back or just listen.....I was really shocked and dumb-silent....   "If we lost those thing, you will be surcharge on your salary...I will not take the resposibility...It it yours!"   Again, only "I'm sorry Puan" came out of my mouth...At this point i thought..maybe i was wrong...All of the meeting comittee were outsiders..Only me, the big bos and another...

I am frustrated early in the morning...later i was amazed by how people interact with their surroundings......They know just what to say or act...It was like something slipping very instant from their mind and they were just blowing it out...Very easy...I imagine myself trying to do that such....I think, things would not be the same....I will say something i didnt mean to....I would be making fun out of myself....I feel so low and unmatured...I have 4 years of working expirience and here i am....i feel nothing out of me!!!   I want to excell like last time.....I want to show my brighter side...I want to be awarded by my ability....I cant wait to know what is my biggest skill..what is my talent????.......huhuhuhuu   Please god...Lead me my truthfull way......amin... -- Regards, Siti Fatimah Khairiah M Amin

Firdaus memang bese la badan panas... Tp takdela merengek... Mama yg risau2, bawak gi klinik, dokter kate tak demam.... Tak pernah demam wpn lepas kene injek... Power la anak mama ni... Skali 1 mlm di malam jumaat.. Hohoho... Mama mendapati diri mama tidak dpt tido walau 1 sen pon... Hehehe... Sebab nya firdaus mcm lapa.. Mama bg susu badan firdaus marah.. Mama bagi botol.. Tuka2 puting 2 3 kali firdaus nyusu sikit je... Pstu kepala panass manjang.. Besenye kalu panas tu kejap tu sejuk balik.. Ni tak surut2... Mama risauuuu gilerr.. Huhuhuu...... Pstu pg tu gi klinik bole lak dokter tak dtg lg... Pstu nenek yg bawak gi klinik.. Tgk2 doktor kate anak mama demammmmm... Huwaaaaaaaaaaaaa...tak penah2 ni la 1st time dpt antibiotik...........Sbb dokter kate tekak Firdaus merah... Ptt la nangis suara serak... Huhuhuhu......   Pstu next night... Wpn mkn ubat..still anak mama takleh tdo mlm..Sejuk kot ek...Nk tdo dlm pelukan mama.. Huhuhuhuhu.. Cian die...Menggeletek2 bile mama bg makan u...

Huhuhu...cedih nya mama......Smlm mama tak ase cedih lg...sbb mama balik keje je..anak mama tdo...pstu bgn2 nmpk mama tros senyum2...gelak2...sambil menetek.....wpn mcm nak taknak je menetek....tp tgk muka anak mama ceria mama hepi la jgk.....Skali nenek bgtau...anak mama baru lepas jatuh drpd kerusi......huhuhuhuhuhu....tu la dh bergolek dh anak mama..tak brape pandai lg..grabbing2 pn malas2 lg..bole sbenanye..tp anak mama ni mcm malas2 sket la mama tgk....die lg suke mama bagi die...huhuhu...tp bergolek laju plak die........yela..mgkin anak mama mcm tak brape berani lagi kut.......takpelaa..janji Firdaus membesar ngn sehat ye sayang...   Pastu malam tadi firdaus nk tdo peluk mama...slalu mama peluk firdaus bangun..ni dh kene peluk br la firdaus tdo..mama lepas je firdaus bangun....cedih mama..pstu pg tadi mama rasa kepala..demam pulak...huhuhu..ciannya anak mama.......   mama tak saba nk balik nk jmpe firdaus...mama harap firdaus dh baik demam...nnti mama bg mkn ubat lg ...

Ntah la...bkn nk puji diri sendiri...tp nk puji gk la..ekekekekeke....   Sejak jd ibu ni...aku sedari sendiri..naluri aku mcm lain macam sket...   Mula2 aku dpt rasa cmne nk berpisah ngn anak sendiri...sejak aku ngandungkn die slalu dekat dgn aku...smpai aku terpakse berpisah ngn die..mmg susah sgt....Dlu time mak aku outstation slalu aku igt mak aku tak sayang aku...Skang aku paham situasi dia...Bkn die nk, tp sbb kerja... Bkn bole tolak2 sesuka hati... Keadaan aku yg taknak lepaskn die pergi lagi tambah menyukarkn keadaan.. Ni anak aku sekadar menghatar aku dgn pandangan pelik dh buat air mata aku bercucuran mcm org mati bini...Wpn hakikatnya aku ada laki bkn bini... Hehehe.....   Mlm2 bila anak aku buat hal, maybe aku baru lg kot.. So aku rasa mcm..Alahai anak mama ni, tak berupaya mama nk tolak bila anak mama ni nk bermanja2 ngn mama... Mama penat, tp mama cuba gk la atasi tu sume......   Dlu aku kedekut gila la pasal duit2 ni...Tadi bila terpaksa keluar...

As'kum...   Arini ari kedua aku keje gomen. Huhuhuhu... Mcm tak brape nk best... Rindu plak keje kt freescale... Ramai kawan and byk keje yg tak siap2 tu. Muahahaha. Kt sini kne fight klau nk keje byk... Takleh nk masuk friendster lak tu... Huhuhu.. Terasa mcm nk pasang streamyx je kt umah. Aku kene buat budget nih, cukop ke gaji aku ni utk survive tanggung anak aku lg.. Hihihi.. Risau tak ckp je. Huhuhu...   Lagi ape ek.. haa.. kne gi byk kursus.. Cemana ntah opis mate aku tadi terangkan. Cm byk gk la.. Pstu aktiviti unit pn buat kt Pangkor. Ntah la, kalu dlu blom kawin, blom ade anak aku ase best gk la. Ni cm tak best la tinggal anak aku. Ase mcm pandai buat anak je, jaga tak reti. Sian kt Firdaus. Huhuhu. At least keje kt freescale takyah la aku gi kursus2 bagai2 nih.. Huhuhu...   Smlm balik keje cm tensi gk firdaus nk bermanja2.. Nangis2 taknak tdo, taknak susu, taknak nenen.. Aku igtkn apa laaaaaa... Skali upenye br la tau, umi tak mandikan die petang tu, p...